Relationships can be a very complicated thing at times, and we all want to find the best relationship advice possible to help us navigate through the rough times. There are several sources of helpful information available to you, both online, as well as from trusted friends, family and others. Since relationship issues always seem to be so much more difficult for us to see when we're in them, outside sources are always good to get relationship advice from.
Settling is something that we have all been guilty of doing at one time or another. Whether it was for a few months in high school, or 20 years in a marriage, settling is something that's far more common that it should be. So many people continue to do it, and many end up wasting some of the best years of their lives in relationships that are simply not right for them. It's great that so many of us these days are more aware of what we are looking for, and are starting to become more honest with ourselves when we're in a situation that's not right for us. When we're in the thick of a relationship though, it can be really hard to determine if we're just settling, especially when we're really comfortable, and not experiencing any conflicting issues. We've got some great information right here to help you start asking yourself the questions you need to in order to determine if you're settling in your relationship.
Use all of the options that are available to you, and make sure that you really take the time to listen. Oftentimes when we are in the midst of a relationship that we're not entirely happy in, we tend to be the last ones to notice it. Being in the middle of any situation always tends to make it a bit harder to see the forest through the trees, and as a result, a lot of us end up spending time in relationships that we're less than happy in, simply because we don't actually notice that we are unhappy. This may sound questionable, but in fact, it isn't. Not noticing we're unhappy isn't always easy, especially if we're not in conflict with our partner, and enjoy the comfort of our daily routine and familiar circumstances. Familiarity is a very comfortable thing for most people, so when we're comfortable, we're not very likely to question our levels of happiness and satisfaction where our relationship is concerned.
At some point, though, the light is sure to go on and we'll start to ask ourselves questions. Or it could even be that someone who cares about you asks you the question, and gets you started on thinking about things. Whatever the case may be, this is a good thing to explore and ask yourself questions about, because we all want to make the most of our lives, and no one wants to look back and have regrets. Take the time to look at the situation and ask the questions you need to. If we discover that we are settling in our relationship, we can't be hard on ourselves. We really have all done this at some point in time, and it's nothing to be hard on ourselves about. Let's move forward and start taking a look at some things that will be very helpful to think about while we seek out relationship advice, and try to determine if we are settling with our current partner.
Feeling like something is missing is a pretty obvious one. It's generally one of the first things we notice that gets us started on questioning other areas of our relationship. If we feel like there is something seriously missing with our partner, in spite of being comfortable and in a conflict-free relationship, then there is a very good chance that we could be settling in our relationship. Generally speaking, even if things aren't going the best all the time, if we're happy with our relationship, we're not going to be feeling as though we're missing something. Having this feeling should really prompt us to start asking ourselves some important questions about how it is we're feeling with our partner, and whether what we have to offer each other is really what we both want to have over the long term. None of these questions are easy to ask ourselves, especially if we are comfortable with our partner, but if there are doubts, then these are all things that are very important to address and work through.
Sure, we have a routine together - it's easy, it's comfortable, and it's familiar. We know the way our partner is, they know the way we are, we're both completely comfortable together, and we gel very well in terms of how we dance through your day. This, of course, is a very important element of any relationship, and it's one that can really make or break whether or not a relationship works. What it can't do, unfortunately, is make us feel more connected to our partners. Love consists of peaks and valleys, as we all know. There are going to be hard times and good times, and obviously times when we feel closer to each other, and times when we don't. These are all normal experiences to have in any relationship. Not feeling connected, however, is something that's very different.
We're allowed to go through the ups and downs of the peaks and valleys in our relationships, but if we're a permanent resident in the valley, and we're not feeling a connection, then chances are that we are settling in our relationship. When a relationships is healthy, we won't always feel like everything is perfect, and we will still go through a lot of ups and downs with our partner, but ultimately, we will still feel connected with them, and have a sense that we are in exactly the place we should be. If we don't have this feeling, then we will really benefit from taking the time to question ourselves, and seek out the best relationship advice. We may not always find it easy to identify when we're not happy, but on the flip side, we definitely do know when we truly are happy. If you don't feel this way, it's time to start taking a look at things.
We don't need to be mental health professionals to know that sex is an important part of any strong relationship. It's one thing to get used to someone; maybe not desire them as much all the time, because they're always around, or take for granted that we always have someone around with whom we can be intimate. If we're simply feeling that we are not attracted to them though, then this is a problem, and a sure fire sign that we are settling for something less than we should be in our relationship. Most people who are in healthy, long-term relationships may not have sex all of the time, but they DO STILL HAVE SEX. There is still an attraction and a desire, and the chemistry is still there.
When we notice that the chemistry simply isn't there, and we're not having any feelings of desire for our partner, then we should probably start to weigh out the reasons that we are with them. Is it because we know them so well? Is it because they're all we know? Is it because we're so comfortable that we haven't stopped to take the time to notice that we don't feel a sexual chemistry between the two of us? If there is no sexual chemistry between us and our partner, then it is more than likely that we are settling in our relationship. Let's be honest, sex certainly isn't everything, but it is absolutely important.
This is not a good sign at all. Even if our partner is ridiculously, physically attractive, if we can't have fulfilling conversations with them… their looks are a novelty that will only last for so long. Remember, we're all going to age and none of us will be able to be young and beautiful forever. If communication isn't what it should be in your relationship, then it really isn't going to matter in the long run whether or not our partner is drop dead beautiful. If we can't enjoy communicating with them, how are we going to feel someday when they're not so pretty to look at? This is absolutely a sign that we're settling in your relationship. It might be coming from a different kind of perspective, but it's definitely a sign, and it's something that we need to be very honest with ourselves about.
Settling is never a good thing, and there really shouldn't be any reason that you choose to stay with someone in a relationship if we can't communicate with them in a meaningful way, and our conversations are less than satisfying. If we're in a relationship with someone who we're comfortable with, but we're not really having or enjoying conversations with them, then the chances are pretty excellent that we're settling in our relationship. Communication is always an incredibly important part of any relationship, that any relationship advice expert will tell us.
Well, if this is how we feel, it could be for any number of reasons, but rest assured, if we are feeling this way, then it's basically a certainty that we are settling in your relationship. Whatever we may go through in a relationship - the ups, downs, and whatever else - we should still be feeling like we are in the right place, and that we are going through all of these times with the right person. If we do not feel this way, then we are certainly settling in your relationship, and we need to take some time to seriously reconsider things. Settling is not the standpoint from which to approach a long-term relationship. This can only lead to unhappiness and a feeling of emptiness that is sure to stay with us for the rest of our lives.
No matter how scary it might seem - because we are comfortable, or we don't want to hurt anyone, or we simply aren't sure what to do - rest assured that if we don't get out of a relationship where we feel like we are settling, we are going to feel unfulfilled, and potentially waste a very important part of our life being with someone who simply isn't right for us. We are all afraid of change, especially when we've become very comfortable with the way our lives are, but remember, someday we're going to be in a situation where our life is coming to an end, and we'll be looking back over all of the things we did and didn't do. If we feel like we're in the wrong place, it's important to be brave enough to move on so that when we look back someday, we don't feel a strong sense of regret for not allowing ourselves to be brave enough to find the right person for us to be with.
Think of it from this perspective as well: if we're staying with someone who we know we shouldn't be with, then we're really not doing EITHER OF US any favors. We're just allowing both ourselves and your partner to stay in a situation that is less than what we both deserve. We both deserve to be happy, and we both deserve to be with someone who brings out the best in us. Sometimes we think that we're staying with someone to avoid hurting them, when the truth is that we're actually hurting them more by staying with them in a relationship that neither can ever be truly happy in.
If we know that we are settling, that means that our partner is settling too. No one wants to be with someone who isn't all in, or right for them. Although it may initially be very hurtful for both of us to get over and move on from, in the end, we'll both have the opportunity to find someone with whom we can truly be happy. There is absolutely no doubt at all that we'll end up appreciating each other much more for having the courage to be honest with one another. If we're feeling this way, you never know, our partner could be feeling the exact same way as well. It's always best to be honest, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
We've seen the signs now, and it's time to put things into perspective. We may be content, and we may even love our partner very much. There's a very big difference between loving someone and being truly in love with them, though. If we're not in love, then we're not with the right person, and when you combine this fact with everything else we've talked about, it becomes very clear, very quickly, why staying in such a relationship is not a healthy choice for us or our partner. When we choose to settle for the wrong relationship in our lives, then we choose to miss out on one of the most important aspects of living, which is experiencing genuine love. This alone should be incentive enough for us to take all of the new perspective we've gained by taking a long look at this, and walk away from what simply isn't the right place for us to be.
Which brings us to the next point, which is that we need to be honest with ourselves. Being truthful with ourselves is the first step towards doing the right thing. We all need to do this in order to start making movements towards what is right overall. We need to be honest with ourselves, be honest with our partner, and give both of us the space we need to move on and find what's right for us in life.
It's difficult to move on from settling in a relationship, but it's our sincere hope that we've helped you out with this a bit. Remember that being honest is always the best thing to do, and that if you're in need of some more relationship advice, there's always lots of great information available out there to help us answer some of the hard questions, and get started on moving in the right direction.
Now you know if you are settling, but have you ever wondered if your partner is settling for YOU? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT NOW!