It sucks when you meet someone truly amazing and you have this great connection, but then you find out that he only wants to hook up. It kills a little part of us on the inside. However, Freehookups has taken it upon themselves to help you find out the signs and help you know if all he wants to do is hook up.
When we talk about signs, we are talking about how he talks to you, how he acts, what his body language says about him. There’s only so much you can judge without help. So, let Freehookups help you pick out signs you probably didn’t even realize were signs. It will be better for you in the long run when you realize that you are better off without him.
When you two go out, or meet up or even snapchat each other, how are his compliments towards you? Are they about how smart and amazing you are? Or are they about your looks, appearance, body, etc? When he is always complimenting you on your looks and appearance, that means that he is not looking at anything else. He doesn’t notice that you are super smart or that you are a great singer. All he knows, is that you have a hot body and you look hot beside him. This is a sure-fire way to know if he is just a hookup.
While we are on the subject of him texting you how hot he thinks you are, does he try to turn every conversation you have into something sexual? You ask him how his day was and he responds with "It would be better if you were here naked." This kind of talk is cute every now and again, but if this is happening all the time, then you have a hookup on your hands.
The big way to tell the difference between a hookup and a boyfriend is that he won’t take you out on real dates. A boyfriend will take you to the movies, or out for a nice dinner. Things of that nature. However, if you are with someone who is only a hookup, then you will probably never do more than just Netflix and chill with them. As they don’t want to spend money on you because you aren’t their girlfriend. This is a feeling no girl wants to feel ever. You want to be with someone who is proud to take you out in public.
Watching movies over a few beers at his place and having sex is not a real date. If this is all you end up doing, this is a red flag for you. You need to steer clear of that situation. If a guy doesn’t want to take you on real dates or show you off in public, it is because he doesn’t want to lose his single guy status. If he wants that title so badly, he can have it, but he won’t have you in return.
Have you been with this guy for a while, yet know very little about him? That could be a red flag. You need to know stuff about each other. Likes, dislikes, family, friends, etc. This is the kind of stuff you do with someone you are dating. If he hides his life from you, that is a sign that he doesn’t want you to get to know him because he doesn’t think you are girlfriend material.
When it comes to sex, there are usually a lot ways you can determine what the red flags are in your situation. Let’s start at the beginning. When things start heating up, how long does the foreplay last? Seriously, if the foreplay is very minimal, then that is usually a sign that he just wants sex and doesn’t really care if you are gearing to go. On the same note as that, does he make sure that you finish during sex? If it is always him finishing and you getting nothing out of it, that is a MAJOR red flag that he is clearly just a hookup. If he only cares about his own happiness, then you need to find a guy who only cares about you.
After sex, does he spend the night? Is he there when you get up in the morning? If you answered no to one or both of those questions, then you 100% have a hookup on your hands. The guy who wants to be by your side will be. If he wants to be with you, he will spend his nights with you, and he will make you coffee in the morning when you get up. That’s the difference between being with a boyfriend and a hookup. You just need to decide what you want out of the relationship with him.
While we are on the subject of sex, if you suspect that he is hooking up with other girls, then there’s a good chance he is just a hookup. When he is just a hookup, there is no reason for him to just stay with one girl. You need to know whether or not you are ok with it. If you aren’t, then clearly you two want different things and you need to end things with him.
When it comes texting and messaging you, what does his messages say? Does he only message you at night? Does he only text you after he has had a few beers? These are signs that he is a hookup and not someone who wants to be with you.
If he goes out to the bar without you, gets drunk and then decides that he wants to see you, that is entirely different than being with you. This is just him wanting a drunk hookup that he doesn’t have to work for. If he messages you only at night time, it’s because this is a booty call. Drunk or not. He is a looking for a hookup and doesn’t feel the need to see you during the day.
When you two are messaging each other, does he always ask you for nudes? Now we aren’t hating on sending nudes to someone as long as the situation is appropriate and it goes both ways. There is nothing wrong with sending a little ‘sumthin, sumthin’ out there for him to enjoy. However, if he only wants this, then he is a hookup and that is that. There is a huge difference in wanting a relationship where he spends time getting to know you versus him always asking for nudies and not really caring how your day was. Look for these signs.
If you ask him where is he because he was supposed to be at your place an hour ago he gets defensive right away, then this is also a sign. Hookups never really take into consideration that you care about where they are. They do what they want, when they want and with who they want. Getting defensive about where they are or just flat out not telling you where they are is a major sign that he not interested in being anything more than a hookup.
This one should be the obvious sign. Some people are weird about introducing you to their family. That’s a big step, but if he is avoiding the situation of even introducing you to one of his friends or maybe even a co-worker, then he is only using you for the hookup and nothing more.
If he is out at a bar with his friends and you happen to bump into him, does he introduce you or just he give you a casual ‘hey’ and go back to what he is doing? In a situation like this, if he doesn’t introduce you or even acknowledge you, you are clearly a hookup. You should find someone nicer. That’s a real douche move.
You can never know for sure that he is seeing other people unless he tells you or you snoop through his phone. However, if he is always calling you "babe" and "cutie", but never using your real name, that is because he has probably forgotten who he is with. Calling you a cute pet name is his way of trying to make you feel good while not ruining what he has by saying the wrong name.
Even if he isn’t dating other women, he still flirts with them and he does this in front of you. While that’s a total jerk move, technically "you can’t be mad because you are not official". This is the answer that a hookup will use time and time again. By the way, you are allowed to be mad. You can be as mad you want. That’s a dick move on his part. Together or not, have some respect.
This can also play in your favor though. If he has some other women in his life, that means that you are fully allowed to have more men in your life. So, why not play the dating game a little close to the chest and go out with other guys?
Something that most people do in relationships is have the talk. The "are we an exclusive couple" talk. If he chooses to never have this talk or avoids it at all costs, you are a hookup and that is the only thing that he is looking for. This can work out in your favor, as this mean you aren’t tied down. You can go out and still hook up with other guys, go on other dates, etc.
The obvious answer that few people seem to think about is that if you are a hookup, he will tell you. Not every guy will do this and some of them might not even do it right away. However, if they are chill, they will be flat out be open with the fact that you are a hookup and that’s all this is. No harm no foul.
Every now and then, he will just stop answering his phone whenever you call or text for a few days on end. He will go off your grid for a few days and then come back and act like everything is fine. This is worst. You have no idea what to think about anything. Does he care? Is he with someone else? Is he alive? This is the situation that can turn even the strongest women into stalkers. You begin going through his FaceBook feed, his Instagram, photos, and his Twitter updates. This is the only time you get some kind of clue as to where he is or what is he doing or who he is with. This sucks, you don’t want to be a stalker, but somehow this hookup brings it out in you. All we can say is that you need to be strong and try not go crazy on him. When he finally gets around to talking to you, wait a day, then respond.
If you are aware now that he is a hookup and nothing more, use that to your advantage. Turn the tables on him. Go out more with your girlfriends and dance it up at clubs. Make sure he knows too. Snapchat your nights, Instagram photos of you and other gorgeous men. Make sure it is known on social media that you are a solo agent. When he calls you, don’t pick it up right away (or at all). Call him for late night drunken booty calls. Be the hookup that he thinks he is.
If you want to turn the tables even more, never meet at your place, only his. Leave right afterwards, never stay the night. When you text him, get him to send you nudies, but never send them back. Call him the wrong name every now and again. Keep him on his toes. Once he realizes that the tables have been turned on him he will know that he was in the wrong and will want you all to himself. If there is two things that guys hate, it’s being ignored and having other guys touch their stuff. Competitiveness is in their nature.
The best sex advice we can give you before you go falling head over heels for a hookup is to make sure you can handle what you are getting into with him. This is just sex. There will not be any dating and you will never get to call him your boyfriend. If that sounds like something you want to get involved with, then awesome. Let’s get you ready for a rompfest with him.
Make sure that you always wear protection. Both of you. You need to be on birth control and he needs to wear a condom. Hookups are one of the leading ways to transfer STDs and you also don’t want to get accidentally pregnant.
Make sure you have the skills to get yourself off quick. There’s a good chance that he will try and finish first without really caring about whether or not you finish. You need to prep yourself so that you are ready to burst faster than expected. Otherwise, it’s lame sex where you get nothing out of it.
While being on the subject of hookups, we also want to discuss the main difference between a f*ckboy and a hookup. People seem to think they are one in the same, and they aren’t necessarily wrong, but they aren’t fully right either. There is a saying that goes along with being a f*ckboy: "Enter her life, mess things up and leave. Then text her ‘I miss you’ every two months when she tries to move on." In a nutshell that is what a f*ckboy is and does. A hookup is more open about the fact that you two are just hooking up. While he might not use words, he will use obvious signs like the ones we talked about. However, he won’t stick around just to hurt you. That’s the upside.
While it is not always necessarily a bad thing to have just a hookup, it sucks when you aren’t sure and think that the situation is more than what it is. We hope that knowing these signs has helped you figure out what you want to do about your situation. You can stay and have fun or you can bolt and find someone who actually wants to commit. The choice is yours, we just want you to be informed.
If you want more ideas on dating, hooking up, meeting people, check out more sex advice articles on Freehookups. You can find everything you are looking for whatever your status might be.