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There are few things more uncomfortable and irritating than dating someone who is too needy, with a huge laundry list of constant needs. This person may be completely enchanting otherwise - funny, smart, interesting, sexy; but if they commit one of several dating faux pas, and are too much to handle, it might be time to ask yourself if you want to be in this situation. The fact is, you are not doing her any favours by sticking around in her life and ghosting every single time she seems like too much work. Listen to and read good relationship advice and figure out if this is a relationship that you both want to be in, otherwise it isn’t worth wasting both of your time. It is within the realm of reason that she might just need to compromise and try to move forward in a healthy manner, but it requires effort. If you are not willing to put in the effort to fix the situation, and would rather not stew in the mess that is being created, then why continue to harm not only her, but yourself? Everyone deserves to feel like they are comfortable in their relationship, and it should not always have to require bending over backwards for each other. If you are dating a needy woman, and you can’t handle it anymore, it’s time to get out! Take note from us and follow our relationship advice. Below are some signs that you might just be in between a rock and a needy place.
No matter how prolific of a texter you are - whether you only look at your phone when you are on your lunch break at work, or whether you constantly have your phone in your hand, the fact is, sometimes people forget to respond to texts. Sometimes people realistically do not have the capacity to answer every single text that comes in throughout a day, because they have other things going on in their lives. If you are dating a woman who is so needy that she absolutely requires you to be in constant contact throughout the day, and will get upset if you don’t abide by that, then something needs to change. No relationship can be happy if you are constantly within the firing zone, and if little things like not responding to a text sets them off into a fury, that’s a problem. No one deserves to feel that constantly on edge with their partner.
That being said, there is, of course, a certain amount of responsibility that you owe to your partner when it comes to checking in. This is something that can be learned by reading and following good relationship advice, because it is hard to realize when you should be the one who is changing. For example, if you live together, and you have gone out with friends after work and forgot to let her know that you would be late coming home, it is perfectly normal for her to text you and ask where you are and if you are okay. It is also perfectly normal for her to be at least a little bit peeved if you forget to respond, but even with that situation, the likelihood is that she will not hold a grudge over it. She might just ask you to be a little bit more considerate next time something like that happens. That is balance, and signifies a healthy relationship. It is even perfectly reasonable for her to say, "hey, this is important to me, I know you are busy, but if you could just check in with me once in a while, it makes me feel good". It is a relatively small gesture that she has expressed means a lot to her. But if she is getting mad at you because you didn’t respond to her third, "so, what are you doing?" message throughout the day when you’re busy at work, it might be time to consider the fact that you are dating someone who requires too much of you for it to work. Also, all excuses of work and stress aside, ask yourself, "Why do I not want to answer my partner’s messages?" Is it maybe because you are unhappy?
In a healthy relationship, you should always feel comfortable enough to know that you are both allowed to have lives outside of the one that you have formed with your partner. This entails having and hanging out with your friends once in a while without your partner, and this is a totally normal thing to have in your life. A needy woman might get upset when you want to go out to spend some time with your pals, and she might try to argue that they are not good for you, or that they do not like her and she would be upset if you were to see them. This kind of behaviour is completely unfair if it is unsubstantiated, because it is within the realm of reason that your friends might have an unwarranted amount of disdain for your girlfriend for whatever reason. But that situation is a lot less likely than her just being too needy to let you go out with friends.
A lot of bad dating behaviour has a certain amount of sneaky subtlety to it that makes it harder to detect when you are in a truly bad situation, but something like this is pretty easy to identify. If she is constantly arguing with you, or getting very upset, every single time you want to just go and get a coffee or a beer with one of your friends, then chances are she does not trust you. These kinds of situations will only appear again and again. People need friends in their lives, and in a lot of cases, these friends might even know you better than she does, so why sacrifice people that are important to you just because you are afraid of breaking off a bad relationship? Listen to the relationship advice that comes your way, because chances are a lot of it might be spot on.
If she does allow you to go out with friends on a rare occasion, or maybe she just gave up on arguing, do you find yourself desperate for more time alone with your pals? Do you find yourself lying to her about traffic or the events of the night, just so you can buy yourself a couple extra hours out on the town? These situations are worth discussing with her, to see if there is some sort of halfway point that might be met, so that the two of you do not lose your sanity in the process of dating one another.
When it comes to dating a needy woman, odds are that she will not be happy unless you are glued to her side at all times. Of course, because you are a human person in the world, that is just about impossible, which means the likelihood of her always being upset with you is pretty high. Whether it’s the fact that you desperately want to reconnect with your friends, that you want to start a new creative project, or maybe that you have been working overtime lately to pay the bills, she is probably going to get upset with you. Or, maybe even the most criminal of them all in her eyes: you just want to spend some time alone to relax.
One of the main foundations of a happy relationship is one that is built on trust, and if she constantly needs you to be around in order to be happy, then it is pretty likely that she does not really trust you. She is not a malevolent, evil person, though - odds are she feels this way due to a litany of possibilities - be it abandonment issues, really bad relationships in the past, etc. That doesn’t excuse the fact that something has to change for the better of the relationship, or, if it is totally unsalvageable, it may as well just be time to end it to save the both of you more lasting pain. Unless you yourself are an evil, malevolent person, it’s pretty likely that you don’t enjoy seeing this person constantly upset, and you definitely do not like the fact that you are the one who is doing this to her. It can be exhausting to feel like you cannot do anything right in a relationship, so if this is the case, truthfully, why bother?
If you are dating someone who is bad for you, chances are there are a whole set of power dynamics at play to make sure that you are in the vulnerable position. If you are dating a needy woman, it is likely that she will benefit from you feeling small and belittled. She may do that by making fun of you in front of her friends. When she does this, her friends will either back her up, or feel too uncomfortable to stand up to her bullying. She will want to establish a climate within your relationship where you feel as though you need her to be happy, or maybe that you would not be able to date anyone else if you were to leave her. By making fun of you, she is working towards breaking down your self esteem for her benefit. Take our relationship advice and realize that this is a very uncool thing to do to a person, and not indicative of a healthy relationship.
Because everything in dating is grey, and almost never black and white, there are a whole litany of other reasons she might make fun of you in front of her friends. It might be that she was bullied, or that she is a younger sibling and is used to it being dished to her, or maybe it is just her sort of twisted way of flirting. If you tell her that these kind of actions are inappropriate and hurtful, and she refuses to stop, then this is not the type of relationship anyone should be in anyway. It bears repeating throughout all of this that any hurtful behaviour could possibly be changed by either party if the person is willing to put in the effort to change. But if you give a person enough chances and they consistently disappoint, it is pretty likely that nothing is ever going to change for the better and the relationship is fruitless. A partner should build you up and make you feel good about yourself; they might give playful little jabs here and there, depending on their personalities, but you should never feel like you are being bullied by your partner.
No two people are the same, just the same way as no two relationships are the same. If you are dating a needy woman, it does not mean that she is going to meet every mark on this relationship advice list, but it is possible. The social media trend of vaguebooking is something that occurs over Facebook, where the perpetrator will post vague, yet deliberately dramatic status updates that do not explicitly have a person’s name on them, but it is obvious who they are intended for. If the needy woman you are dating is truly that immature, and wants to post something online that makes your business everyone else’s, it’s a childish tactic she’s using to make you feel like you are stuck in one place with this person.
Any bad relationship dynamic is inevitably going to be about a way to express control over the other person, and if someone you are dating is doing super immature things like vaguebooking, they’re doing this to make sure that you are truly aware, and feel bad about the dissatisfaction that you are causing them by just existing in the relationship.
If you find yourself in a bad relationship that makes you feel stressed out or irritated (at best), and the person is not likely to change given healthy arguments, then there is no point in continuing with this person. Although this relationship advice list is detailed, it is by no means exhaustive, as there are so many different ways that people operate in order to try and establish the upper hand in a bad relationship. When you are dating a needy woman, she will require all of your attention and time, and she will try to put you into a situation where you feel like you cannot say no to her. Neediness comes from a place of insecurity that may be larger than you could directly influence, but if you are burning out by her constant messages or requirements for you to be around her, and you are finding yourself sort of ghosting out of the relationship, then you are only doing her more harm than good. Of course, any dating situation is going to be difficult to be critical of when you are one of the active parties involved, but this piece offers something to chew on if you find yourself stressed out and angry at your partner because of the way she acts.
A lot of bad dating situations will reach a point where the two parties must have some sort of argument, and see where they can move forward - if they can move forward. From there, it is all about communicating with your partner and discussing how you feel about the problems in the relationship. If you find that you are spinning your wheels with this person, and it is always right back to square one, then it might be time to move on. But, if you are dating someone who is too needy, you have the conversation (or maybe, the fight), with her, and she tries to be more conscious of her communication skills, then that is absolutely grounds to move forward and see where the relationship can take you both. It is about recognizing what you both need from the relationship and from each other, and what can be compromised in order to work together, as well as simultaneously deciding what your deal-breakers are and what is too exhausting for you.
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